Superbad star Michael Cera’s solo condition for joining the MCU is playing “a superhero who is a big fan of dairy.” We searched through Marvel Comics and found one

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Michael Cera says he’ll join the MCU on one condition: “A superhero who is a big fan of dairy, I could play.” 

Ah, what an excellent joke, beloved star of Superbad and Scott Pilgrim Michael Cera! A superhero who is a big fan of dairy? What silly fun, what raucous nonsense! Surely there isn’t any such figure in Marvel Comics that we could point to and thus require you to fulfill your oath onscreen. Right?

WRONG.

This is POPVERSE, Cera, the place where jokes like the one you made on the Louis Theroux Podcast (reported on by Variety) are considered legally binding contracts and even responsibilities to the fanbase. You weren’t just cracking wise, pal, you were offering us a challenge, and it is one that we had no choice but to both accept and conquer.

Last year, you’ll recall Popverse reporting on The Blue Bounder, a one-off superhero created as a partnership between Marvel Comics and the Dairy Farmers of America. The 11-page, digital-only story focused on a teenager named Wyatt, whose superheroic contributions to the efforts of Captain America, Spider-Man, and more were powered by, you guessed it, MILK.

So buckle up, Mr. Cera. If things go the way we think they should, you’ve got a workout routine and a bunch of fitting sessions with a blue suit in your future. They also might have you doing some make-up tests, unless of course they decide to use CGI to give you that eternal milk-mustache. Either way, you just opened up a can of condensed milk that there’s absolutely no closing.

We loved you in Twin Peaks, by the way.

Consider this a meta post-credits scene for Marvel fans – the four key articles you need to read next to continue the thrills: