I’m a Marvel Fan, but These 10 Movies Are a Chore To Sit Through

[[{“value”:”

I grew up loving Marvel Comics from the first time I received a Spider-Man comic as a Christmas gift. Watching the growth of the cinematic superhero through Fox’s work with X-Men, Sony’s Spider-Man films, and the MCU has been a fun ride, despite a few bumps in the road.

I’m old enough to remember when live-action superhero stories were limited to fantasy castings in Wizard magazine. The consensus at the time was that costumed heroes were too niche for audiences, and now it’s a gigantic industry that suffers from over-exposure. This is to say, I deeply appreciate that we’ve come this far telling these stories, but the following Marvel movies can be tough to watch.

10

‘The New Mutants’ (2020)

Directed by Josh Boone

A young group of mutants is held in a facility for nefarious purposes in The New Mutants. Dani Moonstar (Blu Hunt), a young Native American teen, survives a tornado that destroyed her reservation, only to find herself in a secret compound where she is monitored by Dr. Cecelia Reyes (Alice Braga). Dani soon learns she is a mutant with latent powers, and is introduced to other teens with mutant gifts of their own. When the young mutants find out why they’re being held, they work together to escape the facility.

I was enthusiastic to see what was advertised as a darker story set in the world of mutants with unique powers. I still think there’s a great deal of potential for these characters, so hopefully, after a little has gone by, they can get a second life in an MCU that will need to inject fresh characters to keep interest in the franchise.

9

‘Fantastic Four’ (2015)

Directed by Josh Trank

Marvel Studios is putting their faith in a revival of the family of superheroes in Fantastic Four: First Steps, but Fox had similar ideas when they released the Josh Trank-directed Fantastic Four. The film gave audiences a grounded take on how Reed Richards (Miles Teller) became a prominent scientist who would lead his superpowered friends as a team of heroes.

Fantastic Four is literally the darkest superhero movie, with every scene in desperate need of Reed inventing a light source for the room. The first two Fantastic Four movies Fox made were cheesy, but they were at least within the spirit of the comic book they were trying to adapt. Trank’s version of the characters is by no means the eternal dumpster fire that it’s rumored to be, but the gritty reboot doesn’t add a substantial spark to the group either.

8

‘Hulk’ (2003)

Directed by Ang Lee

Exposure to a lethal dose of gamma radiation turns brilliant scientist Bruce Banner (Eric Bana) into the Green personification of rage in director Ang Lee’s Hulk. The film follows Bruce’s struggle to control his alter ego, which appears when his emotions become too much to control. Although Bruce’s ex-girlfriend Betty (Jennifer Connelly) wants him to get help, her father, General Ross (Sam Elliott), sees Bruce and the Hulk as a threat that must be contained or killed.

A story involving the Hulk would benefit from examining Banner’s fractured psyche, but the 2003 film almost seemed embarrassed by its subject matter, preferring to primarily be an introspective drama. Even if the tone of the film worked and resonated with fans, special effects in the early 2000s possibly weren’t up to the task of bringing the Hulk to life. The green hero often appeared in the dark to seemingly disguise that fact, which wouldn’t have been noticeable if the Hulk were a vampire.

7

‘The Punisher’ (2004)

Directed by Jonathan Hensleigh

The tragic murder of a family is the catalyst for the survivor to become a one-man killing machine in The Punisher. After a successful FBI operation leaves the son of mob boss Howard Saint (John Travolta) dead, Saint responds by killing the family of the agent responsible, Frank Castle (Thomas Jane). Unable to seek retribution through legal means, Frank commits his life to tearing down Saint’s empire one death at a time.

The Punisher’s direct brutality is a characteristic that makes him a challenging character to adapt, and the 2004 feature struggles to tap into why he works. The casting of Jane as Frank is a good pick, but the story doesn’t stay true to how The Punisher operates as a straightforward vigilante. After his wife and child are murdered, Frank resorts to a prolonged psychological attack on villain Saint, which feels bafflingly out of character.

6

‘X-Men: The Last Stand’ (2006)

Directed by Brett Ratner

The third film in the X-Men trilogy, X-Men: The Last Stand, couldn’t live up to the superior X2: X-Men United. The third entry opens with the discovery of a cure for the mutant gene, which, when taken, removes any traces of the mutant gene from the recipient. While this option leaves certain mutants like Rogue (Anna Paquin) with an impactful decision to make, Jean Grey (Famke Janssen) returns from the dead, bringing the power of the Phoenix with her.

The exit of Bryan Singer, who went on to direct Superman Returns, disrupted the plans for the Phoenix story they were building up to in the X-Men trilogy, including but not limited to the loss of Stephen Marsden, who also joined the cast of the Superman sequel. The end result is X-Men: The Last Stand, which tries to tell too many different stories at one time and becomes an unfocused story that gets lost in its own chaos and explosions.

5

‘Elektra’ (2005)

Directed by Rob Bowman

It turns out Elektra Natchios (Jennifer Garner) didn’t die at the end of the Ben Affleck-starring Daredevil, because of mystic powers that contractually obligated her to appear in a spin-off, Elektra. The film sees Elektra brought back to life by the strict master of the martial arts, Stick (Terence Stamp), who hones her skills while passing on new abilities. Elektra is assigned to assassinate a man and his daughter, but when Elektra refuses, she evokes the fury of the ninja clan known as The Hand.

I think there’s enough to work with for the character of Elektra that she could have a standalone movie, but this was a rushed production that shows. Garner is an accomplished actress who proved from her time on Alias that she could be a strong lead in an action-oriented plot, but she’s wasted in a plot that meanders its way to the credits. Much like it’s inspiring to watch a movie made from a place of passion, it’s equally depressing to watch a movie the star didn’t want to make.

4

‘Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance’ (2011)

Directed by Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance continues the story of Johnny Blaze (Nicolas Cage) as he fights to control his supernatural alter ego of the Ghost Rider, a leather-clad motorcycle rider with a fiery skull. Hiding in Eastern Europe, Johnny inadvertently finds himself once again protecting the world from demonic forces that seek to inhabit the body of a young boy.

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance is a sequel that embraces a grindhouse quality that applies the creed of over-the-top to every aspect of the production. Cage gives a fully unhinged performance as Johnny that, based on the viewer’s taste, will be campy fun or completely unwatchable. As a movie trying to tell a story, Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance struggles, but as a prolonged music video for an up-and-coming black metal band, it has its moments.

3

‘Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania’ (2023)

Directed by Peyton Reed

Scott Lang (Paul Rudd), known to the world as Ant-Man, has his retirement cut short when an accident sends him and his family into the Quantum Realm. Their attempts to return home are complicated by the beginnings of a rebellion uprising and the dangerous interference from Kang the Conqueror (Jonathan Majors). Scott will need to push himself harder than he ever has before to stop Kang from exiting the Quantum Realm and taking over the world.

I’m always going to wonder what the Ant-Man movies would have looked like with director Edgar Wright behind the camera, but I have warmed to the lighter tone of the movies we received. However, the third film doesn’t put anyone in the best light, and it ultimately feels rushed and made with less care. The special effects in Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania are inexcusably bad, the story isn’t exciting, and it was the unfortunate low point for phase five of the MCU.

2

‘Morbius’ (2022)

Directed by Daniel Espinosa

Sony Pictures went all in on a Spider-Man villain/antihero when they gave the vampire creature Morbius a solo film. Dr. Michael Morbius is a genius scientist whose body continues to fail him while it’s ravaged by a rare disease in his blood. When he undergoes an experimental treatment to cure his ailment, Michael turns himself into a creature of the night who needs blood to survive.

The wave of Sony superhero movies that threw Spider-Man side-characters into the spotlight all suffer from the same sense of feeling dated, like movies that were made in the early 2000s and shelved for a later release. I think adding some horror elements to the superhero template is a good idea that, in theory, should work, but Morbius always feels a little dull. Maybe I’m wrong, though, and Sony should put the movie back in theaters for a third time.

1

‘Madame Web’ (2024)

Directed by S.J. Clarkson

In Madame Web, Cassandra Webb (Dakota Johnson) begins her journey from a cynical and emotionally distant paramedic to an emotionally distant paramedic who can see the future. After a near-death experience, Cassandra gains the ability to receive visions that warn her about a dangerous man named Ezekiel Sims (Tahar Rahim). Sensing that three young women are in danger from the murderous Ezekiel, Cassandra steps in to save them and prevent the possible future.

Madame Web was not the final nail in the coffin for Sony Spider-movies, but it was a large one. There was no one asking for a Madame Web movie, and the obscure nature of the character created more skepticism than excitement about its release. Even Johnson couldn’t muster up the enthusiasm to promote the film on the press tour, and that gave audiences most of the information they needed to know. Poor reviews confirmed what everyone was suspecting, and Madame Web opened to an abysmal reception.

NEXT: 10 Characters the MCU Should 100% Recast

​​​​​​

“}]] I’m a long-term fan of Marvel and the MCU, but movies like Madame Web and X-Men: The Last Stand give the brand a bad name.  Read More